All that you have has become unreal

So this summer has been amazing. I've gotten closer to alot of people. Life's been good to me, and even when it wasn't I looked up. I didn't get all depressed. I got over what ever happened. I stopped being a cry baby. I rested and wasn't as tense and stressed anymore. The worst thing this summer, that I've had trouble with, was my back and how much it hurts. Other than that I've learned to live with things.
Yesterday was theatre. I walked into the black box and INSTANTLY I was stressed and upset and tense. I tried talking about lights. It didn't help. So David and I went into the auditorium while they were all rehearsing, so we could try to get some stuff done. Which consisted of getting a rubix cube down from the electrics (We had put it up there in June) and messing with band kids. I was still super tense. So we went up to the cat walk to get gels down. I hoped that would help. Being up there was always calming to me. But it made it worse. I looked down from there and saw all the work I was going to have to do. David was even able to notice that something was wrong, noting that I was suddenly cussing again. A habit I had stopped. Until I walked into theatre.
Afterwards David and I decided that it was a waste of time for us to be there so we went to get drinks then chilled at his house. I felt so much better once we left. I was still pretty upset but not as much. Then we came back to pick up a couple people. blah blah blah. Fun stuff. After all that fun stuff David, Marissa, Cash and I migrated to David's house. We were there for a while when I got a call from Zach telling me I was going to Hobby Lobby with him and Jonathan. As soon as I heard his voice I felt down, stupid and stressed. I did end up going with them. Right now I can say with all ernest I wish I hadn't. As soon as I got in the car this wave of depression just engulfed me. Probably because as soon as I got in they went off on a tangent about how I was a complete bitch. Now I haven't seen either of them more than twice this summer. They haven't seen how I've changed and stopped being crazy. Instantly I went lower and lower. And the more we went through Hobby Lobby and Best Buy the more they continued to belittle me. "You won't understand if I try to explain it." "I'm pretty sure you wouldn't get it." They must be kidding because they've both met my dad. They know how smart he is. I'm not dumb. I understand computers and other "nerdy" things. I may not be the best, but I'm defiantly not the dumbest.
I went home after that. I could barely function. I just felt drained. The fact that all Zach and Jonathan could say about me was that I was a bitch was extremely disturbing to me. I went to bed pretty early for me. (10:30) It had been hard for me to not cry the entire day. Which is odd for me. Because I don't cry anymore. At all. Ever. As soon as I got in my room I exploded into tears. Just sobs. About everything. Boys. School. Grades. Theatre. Lighting. The fact that I don't talk to my best friend ever anymore. Getting a job. Church. The fact that I feel that some of my friends are just leaving me. Rejection. And I didn't stop for about an hour. Which frustrated me even more. I never used to whine about things and yet there I was. Whining about everything. I tried to sleep but all I did was toss and turn. 
This morning I woke up to go do Freshman Orientation. I thought it was going to be fun. But I was completely worn out from the day before. And the freshman were demons. It was all I could do to keep from punching anyone of them in the face. Now I don't know what to do. My happiness has done a complete 180. And I don't even know why. No one did anything. No one hurt me. My ability to not worry just got wiped away. And I can't even figure out why. I don't even know why I wrote this. Maybe in an attempt to figure out what the heck is going on in my head.
I don't know. I just don't know anymore.